ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
