plz talk dirty to me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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