Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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