Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sext me about skeletons
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
