Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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