You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize