Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Jerry, you need to find god
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
