Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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