I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
