I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
