New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
