You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
These tits shall not be calmed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize