WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
