I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
