I got chris browned last night
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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