Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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