So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
