It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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