I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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