apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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