So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
