we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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