I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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