D3 body, D1 cock
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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