idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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