Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
