Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
