glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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