3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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