I wish you could order shots online.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize