he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
