Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
