So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
