you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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