Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
