wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
