no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
