i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
