I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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