the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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