omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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