You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Pants are for mortals
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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