Can Purell be used as lube?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just cropdusted the office
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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