Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize