I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
