I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
