The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
