Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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