im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
