I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
