Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
