My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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