I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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