if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
