He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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