So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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