One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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