I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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