I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
