I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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