he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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