Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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