Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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