all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
